Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day, which for me is a bittersweet holiday. I can celebrate for my Mother, the greatest Mother I know. She is my strength, my heart, my best friend. We didn't always have a good relationship, in fact for a time we had a horrible relationship, but it was my fault. She bore my wickedness, my swearing, my fighting, my screaming, my disobedience; and she still loved me. Without her I would be lost, because she has always helped me find my way. For my Mother: I love you Mom, more than ever, and I will even more tomorrow.

I said today was bittersweet, I suppose I should explain. Today marks my day of ultimate jealousy. My friends are all mothers. My sister-in-law is a mother. I am nothing. I may never be a mother, and it breaks my heart a little every day, but today is the day when I feel the most forlorn, because it shouts out loud what I may never be; a mother. I'm so happy for everyone else that gets to celebrate this day, to celebrate that they are strong, loving, powerful women with happy healthy children.... But deep down for me, I will be sad and suffer in silence, and I will be happy when this day is over, and I can forget what I may never be.