hormones hormones everywhere...

well here I am posting at almost midnight on this last full day of summer. Am I sad summer is gone?? HELL NO! I love fall, it's my favorite time of year. Sadly, right now I do not feel happy. I don't feel energized, I don't feel calmed. I feel completely and totally crappy. Emotionally, mentally and physically. Why?? Why would I feel so sad when I have absolutely everything going for me in my life that I could possibly want?? One word. Hormones. I feel fat, I feel ugly. I feel sad, depressed and alone. I feel angry and frustrated. Am I fat or ugly?? I'm 50 lbs lighter than I was a year ago, and have never ever thought I really was ugly. Do I have any reason to be sad or depressed?? No, as I said a sentence ago, I have everything I could possibly want. Am I alone?? Far from it! As for angry and frustrated, right now EVERYthing makes me feel that way. I'm at home, and the mess makes me angry and frustrated, but I'm too sad and depressed and tired to do anything about it, so I sit around eating getting more fat and ugly. ALL BECAUSE OF HORMONES! None of it makes any sense; not one tiny bit! Everything right now frustrates and angers me to the very point of explosion. Some family, some friends, some home, and LOTS of work. Let's face it, I need a vacation. Fortunately I have a well deserved and very much needed 6 days off in the beginning of October, where I can refuel and recharge, and hopefully find some happy in amidst the hormonal storm. I know it will pass, I know it's only temporary... But seriously, I cannot wait for this phase to be over, because being angry and frustrated and sad all the time, is causing me to be even more worn out. Every day I sleep more and more, which I guess is good, because then I have less time to be sad, frustrated and angry. Anyway, as I type I'm getting more and more tired, so my typing is getting worse and worse... as is my brain power and ability to make coherent sentences. I actually seriously spell checked this... this baby is actually rotting out my brain, I'm so sure of it that... that.... well there's a good example right there. A totally incomplete thought.