Well, let me first say that I was originally intending not to tell anyone but immediate family and our closest friends until I was 8 weeks. Soooo... then I changed it to, well I'll tell everyone personally, just as long as it's not plastered all over the internet before I tell anyone.... Theeen, I just decided I couldn't handle it anymore and decided to spew it everywhere!
I'M PREGNANT!
Even looking at those words, and saying it aloud... I can't believe it's true! But, looking back on the past few weeks, I'm surprised I didn't question it sooner.
We didn't try this month. I felt I was done, I was tired of stressing over it, I decided it would just be best if I took control of my health and my life and put it on the back burner. HA! See how well that worked out? As for symptoms?? I was tired. ALL THE TIME. I was sleeping 12 hours a day and still needed naps. I wasn't handling my nightshifts well AT ALL, when normally I can manage way better. (That's why I do them!) I was moody. Ok, so moody for me isn't unusual, especially around "that time" of the month. But I wasn't just bitchy and cranky. I cried reading a romance novel! Seriously! I cried during a stupid movie! ON THE SAME DAY! I should have noticed that being a red flag right away. Next, my boobs hurt. Now they usually do before my period, but this time they felt as if they weighed 50 lbs! Really a weird feeling if you haven't had it before. They weren't just achy, they felt heavy(er), which was a whole new and different experience for me. Finally, the straw that broke the camel's back... I had cramps. Without a period. Now my first thought was "endometriosis, I had better schedule some more surgery", so I did! I called my specialist and began getting everything set up. After awhile, and a few days past my period due date, I then thought "hm... odd... maybe I should take a test?? nah... couldn't be..." I really didn't believe it was possible, as we didn't try, and we didn't have sex around the time that I normally thought was the time we should. So I put it off, and as the symptoms continued, I became worried about my health. Not worried about pregnancy, I had written it off for the month, I never once thought I could be pregnant. But, I went and bought the test, just so I could rule it out in case I needed to go to the doctor. (I'm sure it would be one of the first questions they would ask, so I'd better know the answer for certain!) So I took the test, I'm parked on the toilet in the bathroom watching this very faint little line appear... I thought for sure I was imagining things, so I got up and shuffled into the bedroom and continued to watch the line get DARKER. By the way, did I mention I took this test in the evening?? not in the morning as recommended, but at 9:00 at night... Shakily, I called Bryce into the bedroom, and asked him if I was just seeing things, or if that line was actually there... He was confused, and wasn't sure what he was looking at. He looked at me and asked "what does that mean??" With tears in my eyes, I said "oh my god, I think I'm pregnant!" Completely in disbelief, I proceeded to call my best friend for confirmation. I asked her how dark a line has to be on a test for it to be positive. And she stated "as long as you can see it, it's positive. It doesn't matter how dark it is! Why are you asking??" Like she didn't know... yeesh. lol I practically shouted in her ear "well I guess then I'm pregnant!" She then actually screamed. There was no practically about it! From there I called my mother, and we both shared some tears over the phone. We then decided that since it was night time, I would take the other test in the morning, just to be certain it wasn't a false positive. That night, I hardly slept. Both out of excitement and anxiety, and pain. The pain I felt was nothing short of horrific. Naturally I was terrified, like maybe it was an ectopic pregnancy or something. Apparently (I found out later) that pain can be very very normal, especially with implantation, and ESPECIALLY with endometriosis. So, around 4 am, I got up and went to take the other test. Lol it's funny now, but it wasn't then. The test was defective. The only other test I had in the house and the damned thing was broken. It wouldn't absorb fluid AT ALL, so there was no positive, no negative, no nothing. So, at 7:00 am I woke Bryce and very sweetly asked my exhausted husband if he could walk to the store to pick up another test. #1, so I could know for sure, and #2, so I could PEE! I was ready to burst at this point, but I wasn't going to waste my precious urine without something to test it on! So, my loving husband made the walk to the store and back with my test, and we soon discovered that it too, was positive. We had a busy day of doctor's appointments and bloodwork after that, and many many excited phonecalls to friends and family.
Even after all that, it still hasn't completely sunk in... But I guess we have 8 months to get used to the idea! 5 weeks down... so many more to go!
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