It has recently been brought to my attention, that through my expressing my feelings during my pregnancy, that I may have made some people feel that I don't hold any value to their pregnancy experiences.
I need you ALL to know, every single one of you, that this is not the case.
Those that know me well, know that I am a person of information; I always want more information, and I love to share information. I feel better when I am informed, and always like to be "in the know". Some may consider that "nosy", or make me a "know it all", and if that's the case, so be it. I'm ok with it. But I bring this up only because I like to share the information that I have. I am only close with one person who has ever had twins before, so this experience I am blessed to have, is extremely new and uncharted territory for me. Every doctors visit, every test, every week I learn something new. I am also honest. Maybe too honest? If anyone asks me how I am feeling, and how I've been doing, I will tell them the truth. I've learned to sugar coat it a little, because I don't want to come across as someone who just complains all the time. So, with being honest, and also loving to share new information, I'm always talking about how I'm feeling and why.
My talking and sharing does not mean that I devalue any of the beautiful, unique pregnancy experiences that any of you have had, or will have.
Every pregnancy is different; every person experiences it differently, and views it differently. I do not view my experience as more difficult. I do not feel that I have done more work, or felt worse, or been more unlucky than anyone else. In fact just the opposite. With the exception of my physical discomfort, it has been a storybook pregnancy. The babies are doing wonderfully, and everything has gone exactly as planned, hoped for and expected. I am fully aware of how lucky and blessed that makes us, as I know there have been some very difficult, very sad, and even horrible experiences out there. I do know however, that my pregnancy is markedly different than many people I know, simply because I carry twins. I had no idea what to expect with this pregnancy, not only because I'd never been pregnant, but mostly because of the major lack of information there is out there regarding twin and higher multiple pregnancies. I don't think it makes me any more special, important or hard working than any one else. It's just very different, and as I learn whatever I can, I like to share what I learn.
I have never ever meant to hurt, insult, offend or irritate anyone. You all know how I love to talk and chatter... if this is a surprise to you, then you really don't know me very well at all! This post itself is also not meant to hurt, insult, offend or irritate anyone. I don't have any genuine dislike for anyone, so I wanted to explain myself openly to you all so no one feels like I've singled them out.
Maybe I'm overreacting. This could totally be the case. Seriously ladies, not just you moms, but any woman who has ever had pms can completely understand how hormones can affect the brain and make mountains out of mole hills. I could just let everything go, and pretend that nothing is wrong. Well in the end, it could just be me that has the problem, but that's still a problem. I don't believe I'm a hurtful or mean person, I only want to share my feelings with you all, so you don't think that I could possibly be that type of person. Thinking I've possibly hurt anyone really hurts me, so this is my open apology. If I have hurt, offended or caused any negative feelings in any of you, please let me know privately (by phone, email or in person) so we can talk about it. I guarantee you that I will sincerely apologize to you for anything I may have said or done that has made you feel wronged, as it most certainly was never my intent.
I love you all so much, and respect every moment that you have spent either as a mom-to-be, a current mom, or as someone who is a "mom" to anyone or any tiny creature. Pregnancy has taught me that being a mom, is so much more than child rearing. It's everything you go through and experience to raise a child (or critter) to become a strong, healthy, confident adult. It truly takes an army to raise a child, and without you my own army, I wouldn't be able to bear and raise the children we will soon be blessed to hold on to. Please take from this post what I aim to get across, please understand that I have the utmost respect and admiration for all of you, for doing exactly what we were designed to do; to bear, and raise beautiful babies, despite the trials and tribulations.
Who is a mother?
Who is a mother?
a mother is a woman,
a wife, a child-bearer
and a home maker..
Who is a mother?
A mother is a great teacher,
a knowledge passer, a great mentor
and a hope planter.
Who is a mother?
a mother is a foreseer
a future builder, a great thinker
and a role-model.
Who is a mother?
a mother is a motivator,
a creative person, a talent flourisher
and a potential unlocker.
Who is a mother?
a mother is a problem solver,
a peace maker, a sensitive person
and a risk taker.
Who is a mother?
a mother is a compassionate person,
a shoulder to lean on, and the
first person to talk to, in times of crises.
That's a wonderful poem, Jackie! However, you forgot to add ear-twister, butt-kicker and sneaky manipulator too... all these and more, LOL! It's true, Mom's really have to be down right dishonest at times, and perhaps even mean... but it isn't because we don't love our children... it's because we do and don't want them to turn out wrong! Being a mom has definitely been one of the most challenging and also the most rewarding times of my life, and looking back, I'd not change a single thing - from having 4 kids by 23 and raising them by myself... I very definitely identify myself as a mom, and now you are going to be doing so too. I always knew you'd make a great mom, and I am so happy that you got the chance to be one! I can hardly wait to meet the babies...
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